"I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”"

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)

It’s not that we don’t want help or don’t know you’re there to help. It’s that going and seeking out help can be a tall order, and sometimes feeling like you need help at all makes you even angrier at yourself or even more sad.

(via tomibunny)

jesus christ. this is amazing advice. this makes so much sense. i remember when i had severe, intense depression, offers like i’m here if you need help made me ANGRY. and i worry! how do you help people? how do you help people who are going through something you went, something that seemed entirely, completely helpless at the time? shit, but this is practical, humanistic advice. it makes so much sense. fuck. many thanks for this

28 Aug 2014 / Reblogged from theyvcreation with 26,010 notes

ugh the past few days have been

wake up - coffee
midday - coffee
evening - mate
nighttime - tea

I’m a fucking ZOMBIE

28 Aug 2014 / 1 note

the Beefy Boys

28 Aug 2014 / 0 notes

for some reason i read this as “gotta say i really miss that mole on my face” and i was like what mole????????????????? ????i don’t know why i read that

really miss that mole on your face

28 Aug 2014 / 1 note

i adore you / only before you i’m humble

28 Aug 2014 / 0 notes / bjork i go humble 

my first ever THROW back THURSDAYstarted from the bottom my friends
gotta say i really miss that bridge

my first ever THROW back THURSDAY
started from the bottom my friends

gotta say i really miss that bridge

28 Aug 2014 / 8 notes / tbt high school 

sometimes I drink milk and I feel like I want to chomp down on a big piece of steak

I suppose you eat one part of the cow you gotta eat em all

ok goodnight folks

27 Aug 2014 / 2 notes

to the revolution

to the revolution

27 Aug 2014 / 3 notes